Staff Stories: Awful Obstacles

From Zubat armadas to Luigi’s Purple Coins, the staff share their frustration.

By Nintendojo Staff. Posted 10/06/2012 12:00 2 Comments     ShareThis

Staff Stories masthead, blue

Hey there boys and girls, and welcome to yet another edition of Staff Stories where the staff at Nintendojo share our own personal gaming anecdotes. In this month’s edition, we’re focusing on those levels, dungeons, enemies or courses that leave you pulling out your hair and responsible for the most rage quits in your own household. They could be a simple task that you just find tedious and stupid or a level so impossibly hard that you don’t even care if you don’t finish it. These are our least favorite levels, dungeons, or courses.

Mel Turnquist

God do I hate the Mt. Moon in Pokemon Red/Blue. I hate it so much.

First off, if you’re looking for Pokemon to catch, don’t waste your time unless if you really really want a Clefairy. But be prepared to be disappointed every time you have an encounter. In Mt. Moon, finding a Clefairy is like finding the meaning of life in a fortune cookie. Sure, maybe it can happen, but you’ll have to go through a barrel of cookies to find that one. Everytime you have an encounter in this cave, it’s a Zubat. And they will NOT leave you alone. By the 10th encounter, you’re just sick of it. You find yourself yelling that you wish you could find a different Pokemon. The only other Pokemon available are Geodude and Paras. Like those are such upgrades. You could find them any other place. It’s not like they’re hard to find at all.

Zubat Mt. Moon meme
We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.

Oh and did I mention the encounter rates? You can barely take a step in Mt. Moon without hearing that encounter chime. The first few times, you get a hopeful gleam in your eye, thinking maybe that you have encountered a Clefairy. But nope, it’s always Zubat. (Expletive deleted) Zubat. Any chance of me ever liking a Zubat has been severely compromised thanks to Mt. Moon. By the time you’re halfway done with the cave, you’re all Zubatted out. Oh, and repel may work fine, but you need like 2000 of them and they still don’t work all the time. Especially at the level you’re at by the time you hit up Mt. Moon? There’ll be countless Zubats looking to break through your repel shield, making you curse the skies above.

The worst, however, has to be the battles. Say that you struggled a bit in the caves or you went to level up some of your weaker Pokemon. You used up all your potions, your’e about five seconds away from leaving the cave. You even got a sweet fossil for your troubles with Team Rocket after battling with the Super Nerd. However, you realize, you left an item behind somewhere. Being the perfectionist that you are you go back and then you end up encountering a stupid Zubat. Your Pokemon are weak, but this Zubat should be easy to dispatch, right? Nope. You see, the Zubat ends up taking out your last Pokemon alive. You go back to the last Pokemon Center you were in and now you have to go through the cave ALL OVER AGAIN! Yeah, sounds like a fun day, huh?! A day at the DMV is more appealing to me than suffering through Mt. Moon.

Runners up include the Cocoa Station from Kirby’s Epic Yarn with that train transformation that is just such a pain to guide across, most of the desert levels from any of the Mario games…I hate desert levels. And the only Mario Kart course that inspires such hateful vitriol from me — Neo Bowser City from Mario Kart 7. I like the music, but god I hate the level. I hate the rain, I hate the stupid ass puddles, and I just hate the look of it…also, it doesn’t help that I always get knocked off the ledges when I’m racing against people.

Po-Yi Ho

Lizalfos are the absolute worst. You know, those lizard things with shields for arms and maces for tails. They are without a doubt the most annoying enemy in The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword.

Lizalfo artwork, The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

So you are chugging alone in your grand adventure. You enter an ominous room. You spot two Lizalfos. You are like, “I got this.” You draw your sword. They come hopping at you. You swing your sword. Of course, they block it. They are remotely intelligent. No matter. You are searching for an opening, a lapse in their defenses. You strike again. And again. And there it is! They have their arms above their heads, thinking you will strike from above. But you are far smarter than they! Strike from below, slash your Wii remote upwards!

But no! To slash upwards, you have to reposition your Wii remote by moving it slightly downwards in preparation. But quick! The opening will be gone! You gingerly move your Wii remote downwards. Hiiyeahh! You perform an almighty downward slash, right into the Lizalfos’ shielded arms. It’s as if the Lizalfos read your mind. They are smarter than you. And faster. And stronger. And you just got flattened by their tails. There goes your hearts. There goes your adventure.

I realize I am raging, but I find the motion control in The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword to be impeccable except when I face Lizalfos. I hate Lizalfos.

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2 Responses to “Staff Stories: Awful Obstacles”

  • 1558 points
    penduin says...

    “It’s been a long time, comrade…” I love RE4, and Shenmue was impressive, but quick time event sequences need to die. Completely. Forever.

    More recently, in each of the Assassin’s Creed games, it seems like there’s one or two sequences, often near the end and/or involving horses, which require not gaming skills but psychic powers. Specifically, we’re supposed to read the developers’ minds and magically know what the hell we’re supposed to do.

    Walk to this point on stage, then this point, then that one. That hinty glowy spot? Lies.

    It looks like you can ride your horse there, but if you do, you’ll quickly die, for some reason.

    You got an awesome other-worldly weapon that works like nothing else in the game! That text that already disappeared was your only hint. Also there are swarms attacking you.

    Ugh. Again, I love the games, but put this crap in a cutscene or make it actually playable, not some cheap-feeling mechanic in between.

  • 1244 points
    lukas85 says...

    Lixalfos were a huge pain in the ass for me until i get to the end of the game, when i finally understand the controls, you just have to be patient, after they stick they tong at you, bam you slap their arse. At the end i was able to defeat the 2 lizalfos in the small corridor in lanayru without losing a single heart. Also when tehy hit you with their tales all you have to do is move the nunchuck and voila!

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