Versus! Sci-Fi Vs. Realistic Shooters

Nester64x and his old rival HowardNTR take up sides in the debate.

By Nester64x. Posted 11/12/2010 14:30 1 Comment     ShareThis

HowardNTR vs Nester64x

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Nester64x Nester64x: Hey, readers, it’s your old pal Nester64x here with a heated topic to discuss! And here to pick the wrong side of this debate is my old friend HowardNTR.
HowardNTR HowardNTR: The dynamic duo is reunited, and I’m not sure why you’re saying I’m on the wrong side of this, Nester — I’m choosing realistic war shooters over science fiction-y laser blasters.
Nester64x Nester64x: Is your bow tie on too tight? I don’t understand how you can even say that. Good games aren’t about murdering people — they’re about murdering ALIENS.
HowardNTR HowardNTR: Yeah, right. Realistic shooters are so superior, I’ll admit I was a little afraid that we’d end up on the same side, here. Glad I was wrong.
Nester64x Nester64x: You know, you can just shut it. If I want to shoot a real gun I can go buy one at Wal-Mart and take it to my local shooting range. It’d be a huge waste of money to buy a game about stuff I can already do without a Wii Remote. Now, where else can I realistically shoot lasers and frag guns and alien deathscopes? Nowhere, that’s where.
HowardNTR HowardNTR: I really don’t get where you’re going with this. You can really play football in real life, and people still buy Madden. That’s just not a consistent argument–
Nester64x Nester64x: Your FACE isn’t a consistent argument!
HowardNTR HowardNTR: …Done? Another point, think about the real historical figures you can meet and fight in games about, say, World War II. Those are people you couldn’t meet in real life, too.
Nester64x Nester64x: Oh, please. I’ve been to at least three separate retirement homes, so I can pretty safely say that I’ve met everyone who participated in World War II. I wanna spend my time saving the Earth from invaders from outer space.
HowardNTR HowardNTR: I’m sorry, everyone, I didn’t realize that Nester loved Hitler so much. Clearly, that’s what’s really going on here. There’s no logical reason to actually prefer sci-fi shooters over real-world ones other than that.
Nester64x Nester64x: Can it, hozer! Don’t listen to him, folks, he’s just trying to… obsequiate the truth behind his lies!
HowardNTR HowardNTR: “Obsequiate?” Where did you learn such big words, from your buddy, “Herr F├╝hrer”?
Nester64x Nester64x: I said SHUT IT! Besides, you can kill Hitler in Sci-Fi shooters. There are lots of Sci-Fi shooters that have Hitler in them.
HowardNTR HowardNTR: You sure about that? I bet you can’t name three.
Nester64x Nester64x: Well, there’s Duke Nukem… um… uh…
HowardNTR HowardNTR: Yes. And…?
Nester64x Nester64x: Yeah, there’s…. um….
HowardNTR HowardNTR: BEEEEP!! That’s what I thought. You’ve just been Nintendowned, Nester.
Nester64x Nester64x: That’s not fair! I demand a rematch. You obviously cheated!
HowardNTR HowardNTR: Nester, I had to keep half my brains behind my back just to make that a fair fight — and don’t strain yourself trying to figure out how that works — just trust me when I tell you that it does. Besides, now you’re making me sink to your level. Why don’t we let the readers decide who is right? Loser has to play Virtual Boy for 10 hours straight.
Nester64x Nester64x: You’re on. Besides, I think we can both agree that Nester’s Funky Bowling is the greatest video game ever created in any genre.
HowardNTR HowardNTR: Does that mean you’re throwing in the towel just to play Nester’s Funky Bowling? Well, I guess I can’t argue that one, then…

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