The 3DS has a bevy of new features, ones which we are, as a whole, no doubt thrilled to experience and such. But has it ever occurred to you how these fantastic new features and abilities could be misused? Perhaps even misused for… EVIL? Take a step down this dark path with me.
Activity Log: Just like on the Wii menu, the system will tell you what’s been played and for how long. Perhaps you could play a string of games whose titles, when strung together, make a threatening or somehow disturbing sentence? Kind of a stretch, I guess.
Backwards Compatibility: The only way I can see this being misused is that you used WarioWare: DIY to make a bunch of dirty microgames. And that is SO two years ago.
Miis: Sure, you could make Miis of Hitler and Lex Luthor or whoever just like you did on the Wii, but what’s even more important is that you can absolutely horrify your friends and relations by making the system take a picture of them and extrapolate a Mii based on that. Especially if you “tweaked” it a bit first!
3DS Messaging Service: It’s too bad that this only works with your 3DS Friends. Think about how cool it would be to send random messages to random people in the mall or something! UBER creepy.
Virtual Console: The only evil thing about the 3DS Virtual Console is that is isn’t available from day one. We all already knew that, so nothing to see here!
StreetPass/SpotPass: Why not use SpotPass or StreetPass as a convenient way of stalking that special someone? Your 3DSes will automatically check in on ALL that secret data — stuff that the target of your interest wants to keep hidden! Then, just think, you can send love notes with the 3DS Messaging Service! If you already had his or her Friend Code, that is.
Augmented Reality: Why limit yourself to taking a picture of your face? Why play Face Raiders when you could play Toast Raiders, Lamp Raiders, or dare we dream it…. TOILET RAIDERS!!!!
And lastly, let’s not forget the most important possibly damaging feature: 3D Eye Health Risks! That’s right! There’s an almost one percent chance that if you are under the age of six, you may have some sort of ocular damage from viewing the 3DS! Bwa-ha-ha!!!