The Nintendo Tattler

Sometimes, Nintendo ladies behave badly.

By Aaron Roberts. Posted 11/05/2010 16:00 Comment on this     ShareThis

The Nintendo Tattler

We’d like to share some highlights from next week’s Nintendo Tattler, your only source for Videogameland’s hard-hitting news.

Princesses Found In Royal Scuffle

Two royal princesses were involved in a domestic squabble on the outskirts of the Mushroom Castle grounds last night. While neither princess would admit to being the instigator, Toad Police Captain Toadsworth told the Tattler that both women were taken into custody on charges of battery, then released on bail early this morning.

“Neither of the princesses had a statement for the press,” Toadsworth said. “It was a pretty ugly scene.”

A purple-clad man, allegedly the object of the squabble, had little to say as well, other than “Ehhhhh!” Supposedly, the man had been hit by a Bob-omb thrown as part of the disturbance, although those close to him reported he said little else, as a general rule.

Source: Mushroom Kingdom PD, District 3-2

Underage Pokémon Caught With Alcohol

A Pokémon minor was apprehended transporting alcoholic beverages across region boundaries late last night, according to police reports. Officer Jenny took the young monster, whose identity cannot be released due to privacy laws, and charged her with Minor in Possession.

“Jigglypuff!” the unidentified Pokémon said, outraged. “Jigglypuff!” It was unclear whether this was a protest of innocence.

Johto police confiscated five cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon and are holding them as evidence in the case. The young Pokemon’s driver’s license has also reportedly been revoked.

Source: Cherrygrove City PD

F-Zero Pilot and Bounty Hunter Suffer “Wardrobe Malfunction”

The Tattler‘s roving photographer caught a scandalous shot of intergalactic bounty hunter Samus Aran and noted F-Zero pilot Mrs. Arrow out on the Port Town club scene last week.

Both women were visibly inebriated, and Ms. Aran apparently yanked down Mrs. Arrow’s tube top while exiting a limousine in front of the prominent nightclub Chez Black Bull, exposing the F-Zero racer to club attendees, the press, God, and anyone else who happened to be passing by. Mrs. Arrow quickly rearranged her attire, clumsily slapped Ms. Aran, and both entered the club without further incident.

Super Arrow could not be reached for comment.

Source: Nintendo Tattler Staff

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