Top Ten: Scariest Pokémon

Hallowe’en arrives early at the Dojo as we count down some of the Gastl’iest Pokémon!

By Joseph Nelson. Posted 08/22/2012 14:30 Comment on this     ShareThis

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2. Gastly, Haunter and Gengar

Gastly, Gengar and Haunter

Yes, this is cheating a wee bit (again), but they’re all in the same evolutionary line, and equally pant-soilingly scary. They’re all Ghost types, but as we know, they’re also made of gas. Maybe they’re not really ghosts, just horrible sentient gas creatures that seem like them– that’s what Professor Oak would say, anyway (he is a man of science after all). The more you delve into the Dex entries though, the weirder things get.

Let’s start with Gastly. There are legends that say they can learn human speech and change their appearance to look like us too. That’s pretty freaky in its own right, but it’s also able to walk through walls to get to any place it likes. Could it be harmless, though? Nope. It’s also capable of enshrouding a foe of any size and putting it to sleep. Or poisoning it. Or y’know, just casually suffocating it. Of course, being a gas cloud, it shouldn’t need food, but that doesn’t stop it from having “prey”, no sir, so it can be assumed that it somehow saps the lifeforce (or, dare I say it, soul) of its victims. *shudder*

If that wasn’t horrible enough, Haunter has evolved to grow hands that enable it to use physical attacks. It’s now selectively intangible, and can hit you as easily as it can float through walls. Crystal‘s Dex entry states that it also likes to hide in dark places, “planning to take the life of the nearest living thing that wanders close by”. So Haunter is a serial killer then, and one who plans its murders too. But even if it doesn’t kill you, though, just its touch can cause an endless shuddering. Would you rather die by suffocation or shiver to death? I shouldn’t have to ask you that, because such a Pokémon should not exist.

Gengar, on the other hand, has the ability to pretend to be your shadow. This may seems like Gengar’s just another trickster, but if its previous evolutionary forms kill wantonly, then you know that Gengar isn’t going to be any nicer. Instead, it’s waiting to take your shadow because it wants to kill you, and what better place to do so than from behind you? It also has the ability to eat your dreams, an ability which it shares with Haunter. The thing is, whereas Munna does this in a nice, benevolent kind of way, Gengar and Haunter do it by going into your dreams as you sleep, then scaring you to death and feasting on what one can only assume is your mind. It can also steal the heat from its surroundings, so it has the option of freezing you to death as well as all those other horrible fates. WHAT A LOVELY THING TO PUT IN YOUR GAME, GAMEFREAK! Prey seems to be a common theme with Ghost Pokémon. Whereas all other Pokémon sustain themselves on other Pokémon, or plants, or Pokéblocks, etc., Ghost Pokémon seem to be the only ones that hunt humans. Most of them seem to have a connection with humans too– Yamask is supposedly the ghost of a human, Gastly pretends to be one, Banette bears a grudge against its former owner… Maybe these aren’t Pokémon at all… Maybe they’re something… far, far worse.

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