Top Ten: Foods That Kirby Would Eat

And the powers they’d give him!

By Kevin Knezevic. Posted 12/14/2011 18:00 6 Comments     ShareThis

If Kirby is anything, it’s a connoisseur of foods first and an intergalactic warrior second. The pink hero is renowned for his voracious appetite, and his bottomless insides have since become his most famous (and feared) characteristic. He’s also not what you would call a picky eater, willing to devour anything that is set before him, be it plant, animal, or inedible object. That’s why, rather than rank the following foods based on his preferences (his hunger is indiscriminate), we’ve decided it would be more pertinent to list them according to the powers they’d bestow (if they were indeed capable of bestowing powers). You’ll see that some of these foods rival any of the abilities found in Dream Land, and we only wish the puffball would utilize them in his next big adventure. Take careful notes, Nintendo.

All of the images within this article (with the exception of number four) are courtesy of the lovely and talented Andrew Hsieh.

10. Watermelons

Transform Kirby into…


Seed Kirby! 

It’s no secret that Kirby has a soft spot in his stomach for watermelons, able to clear whole fields of them in a matter of minutes. Despite their unassuming appearance, these large fruits give the intergalactic hero one of his most useful abilities, allowing him to spew a stream of projectiles– in the form of watermelon seeds– at his adversaries. This is particularly helpful when Kirby needs to attack from a distance, but the downside to this transformation is that he would much rather laze about in the sun than save the world. He also suffers a significant drop in literacy, which is why the fruit only comes in at number ten on our list of food-inspired powers.

9. Chili Peppers

Transform Kirby into…


Spicy Kirby! 

The one food that would give even Yoshi a tummy ache, chili peppers are just another treat for Kirby and his ironclad insides. When he ingests any variety of these piquant fruits, he gains the ability to breathe fire, allowing him to incinerate foes and even torch certain obstacles. His skin also produces a burning sensation on contact, which would no doubt come in handy the next time King Dedede tries to inhale him in the midst of a battle.

8. Ice Cream

Transforms Kirby into…


Snow Cone Kirby! 

The antithesis to chili peppers, ice cream gives Kirby the power to create miniature blizzards, allowing him to freeze both his adversaries and the environment around him. However, unless these attacks are performed during a hailstorm, they only have a seventy-percent chance of actually striking a foe, making them one of the pink hero’s most unreliable abilities. Still, their versatility and strength more than compensate for their shaky accuracy, and if Kirby uses them often enough, he can eventually graduate to ice cream float and increase his strength even further!

7. Donuts

Transform Kirby into…


Officer Kirby! 

A favorite snack among law enforcement officials, these fried sweets give our hero all the authority of a police officer. With his newfound powers, Kirby can place enemies under arrest and prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law, relying upon the mighty hammer of Justice to smite the forces of evil. It is more likely, however, that he will use his abilities to give a certain writer a ticket for “not coming to a complete halt” at a stop sign, despite how adamantly the writer may contest this claim.

6. Haggis

Transforms Kirby into…


Highland Kirby! 

Haggis, for those unfamiliar with the dish, is a Scottish food that consists primarily of sheep organs and oats. On eating the meal, Kirby dons a traditional Highland kilt and develops an inexplicable urge to fight for his freedom, despite the fact that he is, by all rights, already free. Still, his enthusiasm for this cause is particularly inspiring to those who are truly in need of liberation, rousing them to break the shackles of their own oppression, even if death be the cost.

5. Burritos

Transform Kirby into…


Lucha Kirby! 

Among the most popular of Mexican foods, burritos endow Kirby with the acrobatic skills of a luchador. In addition to gaining a very cool mask, his aerial prowess is significantly improved, allowing him to perform spectacular feats that test the limits of gravity and athleticism. Unfortunately, he also becomes particularly susceptible to knee injuries when he undergoes this transformation, and should he ever lose his mask during a battle, he will be publicly shamed and can never again wear it before an audience.

4. Onigiri

Transforms Kirby into…


Samurai Kirby! 

Onigiri, or rice balls as they’re more commonly known in the western world, have been a staple food in Japanese culture for over a millennium. When Kirby eats one of these delicate snacks, he receives all the powers of a traditional samurai. Bound by the code of bushido, the pink hero can only engage in combat at the behest of his daimyo, using his vast knowledge of weaponry and battle arts to defend his land from adversaries. Should he ultimately fail to uphold his master’s commands, he must commit seppuku to restore his honor, or else wander the countryside in perpetual disgrace.

3. Pizza

Transforms Kirby into…


Ninja Kirby! 

While its greasy toppings and high salt content suggest the only power one would gain from eating pizza is obesity, ingesting the food would bestow on Kirby the kind of martial arts ability that could only have been honed in the sewers of New York City. The pink hero becomes remarkably proficient with nunchaku when he downs any variation of the dish (though the level of his skill is directly proportional to the outlandishness of its toppings), and he begins to display a marked propensity for skateboarding and making shell-based puns, much to the chagrin of his adversaries.

2. Mushrooms

Transform Kirby into…


Super Kirby! 

Mushrooms have always had a… peculiar effect on people (most notably a certain video game character), and even Kirby is not immune to their strange powers. When the champion of Dream Land eats one of these “magic” vegetables, he gains a considerable amount of weight and grows an inexplicable, if rather impressive, mustache. This sudden increase in size no longer allows him to float effortlessly through the air, but the extra poundage also gives our hero a more decisive means of defeating enemies, allowing him to crush them beneath his newfound girth. He also begins to have recurring delusions of rescuing princesses, but whether or not this could be considered a power depends on his motives for ingesting the mushrooms in the first place.

1. Baked Beans

Transform Kirby into…


Gassy Kirby! 

Yeah, you don’t want to be anywhere near Kirby after he’s had a bowlful of these…

So concludes our list, but we’ve only begun to scratch the surface of food-based transformations. What are some other dishes you think would give Kirby special powers, and how would the pink hero look when he ingests them? Tell us your ideas in the comments section!

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