Wii Would Like to Retire

During Wii’s launch, its ad campaign was spearheaded by two kindly, unassuming Japanese gentlemen who traveled from home to home, demonstrating the then-new hardware and interface. Now that the system has sold over 70 million units, though, it’s safe to say that the so-called “Wii guys” can relax and sit back, their mission accomplished. But now that they’re retired, what are these two up to?

Fortunately, we’ve received some photos from them on their travels.

The two Wii gentlemen spent the first leg of their retirement trip exploring a newly-active volcano in the South Pacific. While it was far too dangerous for the regular tourists to stick round, long practice with Mario Kart Wii‘s Grumble Volcano track ensured that Nintendo’s former pitchmen were able to skillfully evade the burning hot lava.

The Wii guys weren’t that thrilled by the erupting volcano, so they decided to head to see the World’s Largest Ball of Twine in Cawker City, Kansas. It was large. And made of twine. These two thrill-seekers have never been happier.

Not content with merely running with the bulls, our former advertising heroes have taken to balancing on them carefully, neither showing even the slightest hint of falling off one of their steers. No doubt years of honing the Wii Balance Board prior to its release was instrumental in their success here.

Our Wii Bowling-loving friends decided next to take a trip to Easter Island. While they did find it entertaining, it still came with a bit of disappointment after discovering that it was not, in fact, the same place that Super Mario Land happened.

The two then traveled to St. Andrews, Scotland, to play a round of golf on one of the world’s most famous courses. The driver was a few feet longer than they were used to, since it wasn’t made of white plastic, and they had trouble understanding everyone. This was, of course, because they are not completely accustomed to everyone around them speaking English– with a Scottish inflection no less.

The Wii guys also dropped in on their friends Bob and Doug MacKenzie, where they sampled some of Canada’s finest lager and partook in some skiing. Unfortunately, one of our friends also got run over by a moose, which is currently wanted for questioning by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

Finally, the two visited Seattle, home of Nintendo’s American branch. Not content with merely riding the elevator to the top of the Space Needle, the Wii guys insisted upon scaling the sheer surface of Seattle’s most noteworthy landmark. What a couple of EXTREME video game console salesmen.

Graphics work by M. Noah Ward