Hot Air: Sected

These are the factions of Wii’s casual gaming community.

By Aaron Roberts. Posted 10/14/2010 17:00 Comment on this     ShareThis

Hot Air Masthead

You know, it’s kind of funny, but the Casual Sects have gotten themselves into a divide almost as big as the console fanboys.  You think I’m kidding, but it’s no joke.  These people are as hardcore about their games as the Mario and Sonic die-hard loyalists were back in the 1990s.

Faction:  The Sport-a-Holics: These crazy, “casual” gamers love Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort more than anything.  While they will occasionally experiment with Tiger Woods or Madden, the real addiction here is Wii Sports: Bowling.  Unsurprisingly, most of these gamers are in the over-seventy age bracket.  Since everyone over seventy also happened to fight in World War II (…right?), this faction is a mean one to deal with.

Splinter Group:  Carnival Gamers: The Sport-a-Holics are quite active, but the Carnival Gamers are a bit less so.  Their flailing is more random and has more to do with throwing darts or rings than an actual physical contest.  These people may have three or less Wii games.

Faction:  Fitness Freaks: These people own a Wii primarily for Wii Fit.  Rather than viewing it as a game, or a supplement to an existing exercise program, they use Wii Fit as their primary fitness program.  Fitness Freaks will spend as many as five hours a day in front of the television performing their Wii Fit regimen (or one of the many cloned games thereof), and some have perfected the art of switching the display back to cable whilst working out so they don’t have to be bothered by the actual game.

Faction:  Music Maniacs: These people are all about their favorite instrument-playing sim, be it Guitar Hero, Rock Band, or some other variant.  In many cases, it’ll be their only game aside from the pack-in Wii Sports.  These gamers exist in other console fandoms as well, but the Wii often offers a cheaper or more mainstream alternative.

Spinter Group:  Wii Music Maniacs: These people love Wii Music more than any other game in existence.  They might have Donkey Konga, too, but since most of them never had a GameCube, chances are that they don’t.  At last count there were over five of them in the United States alone.

Faction: Netflickers: These Wii owners stopped using their Wii consoles for games long ago, and now primarily use it to watch streaming movies from Netflix.  Endless hours of non-interactive entertainment at their fingertips, and the Wii Remote has now actually turned into the remote control which it resembles.  The red Netflix disk has been lodged in the disk slot for a matter of months, not hours.

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