Close your eyes. (Well, after you read this, I guess, it’s a bit difficult to read with your eyes closed.) Now, imagine the NES. And then the SNES. And then the N64 and GCN. And finally the Wii. You got that? What a lovely family, all living together in harmony. Now– you still closing those eyes?– make them beat each other up.
Hey, look, come on, it’s totally kosher. We all have our favorites. NES, that cantankerous grandpa, just won’t slow down, popping up on Virtual Console and, most recently, in 3D. But it’s SNES’ birthday on Tuesday, and everyone loves a good 16-bit RPG (especially those Earthbound fans!). N64– well, the guy’s got his fans, true, but he’s always been the black sheep of the family, though maybe not as much as GCN, who still gets called out for his handle at the local bar. (Even Sega Saturn gets better treatment.) Finally, there’s Wii, who redeemed the Nintendo line, though not without making quite a few enemies in the process. It’s no surprise that when they all get together, a fight’s bound to be brewing.
So who’s going to win? Don’t worry. Nobody’s going to get permanently hurt. I mean, these guys are all family, right? Right?