Looking for Love

Everyone wants to find that special someone– even Nintendo characters. See a few try their luck with online dating.

By Kevin Knezevic. Posted 02/12/2011 13:00 5 Comments     ShareThis

Looking for Love (at eMaginary)

At eMaginary.com, we know how hard it can be to find that special somebody, which is why we’ve designed our site to make that search a little bit easier. We match our couples up based on 64 points of compatibility to ensure maximum potential for a successful relationship. We’ve already helped millions of users find their true love, and there are thousands more joining each day! Don’t go another minute alone; sign up now for a free thirty-day trial. eMaginary– the number one site for fictional singles!

Here are but a few of the eligible characters waiting to meet you right now!


Bowser

Bowser

About Me: Yo! The name’s Bowser. I’m the King of the Koopas and the biggest, baddest brute in the Mushroom Kingdom. Anyone who says otherwise hasn’t met my fists yet.

I LOVE wreaking havoc and terrorizing people, especially Princess Peach– I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve just walked into the helpless broad’s castle and kidnapped her. You’d think by now they’d expect me to show up. Why do I do it? That’s just the kind of guy I am! My day’s not complete until I ruin someone else’s, bwahaha!

I, uh, also like poetry. Yeah, I said it. I DARE you to laugh. When I’m not burning people’s houses down or stomping kittens, I’m usually by some quiet lake writing haiku. Here’s one of my favorites:

Like the moon over
The day, my genius and brawn
Are lost on these fools

Pretty great, huh? Most people can’t appreciate my art. I’ve tried submitting some for publication, but I keep getting rejected. Those clowns wouldn’t know genius if it walked right up to them and punched them in the face. In fact, I think that’s just what I’ll do!

What I’m Looking For: First of all, let’s make one thing clear: I did NOT join this stupid site because I can’t get women. Far from it. I can get any babe I wanted to. In fact, I can’t even leave my castle without attracting a huge crowd of babes. It’s really quite annoying. I actually have to send out one of my minions to do the shopping because I can’t walk ten feet without being mobbed– that’s how bad it gets. So yeah, I have no problems scoring chicks. I only joined this site as a dare; I couldn’t care less about “personal compatibility” and all this other nonsense.

But, uh, I am always up for meeting new people. Anyone, really– I’m not picky. My castle’s pretty cool: I’ve got a pretty big hot tub out back, and there’s a great view of the horizon from my tower. It would be really nice to share that with someone…

If, uh, any of you reading this happen to be interested, feel free to get in touch.


Wart

Wart

About Me: Hey, baby. I’m Wart. Don’t let the name scare you– you won’t be getting any warts from me. ;)

I used to be the king of Subcon until I, ahem, gave up the crown. Being a king was cool and all, but it just wasn’t for me, know what I mean? What I really wanted to do was sing, so I left the kingdom and sailed across the sea until I landed on a strange island. It looked like a pretty hoppin’ place, so I decided to make it my new home.

I met some other frogs not too long after I settled down, and we really hit it off– they all loved music just as much as I did! We even started up our very own choir. At first we sang together just for fun, but soon we were putting on concerts for other islanders to watch. We actually got pretty big, and at the height of our popularity we played sold-out shows all over the island. Ah, those were some great times.

I’m now retired, spending out the rest of my days just enjoying the sights and sounds of the beach. It gets pretty lonesome, though, so I’m lookin’ for a lady to share my pad with. I’m hoping this site’ll help me find her.

What I’m Looking For: I don’t really have a type. I like anyone except vegetarians– sorry, ladies, but I HATE vegetables, and eating them makes me sick to my stomach. That really just wouldn’t work out.

Everyone else is okay, though. Let me know if you like what you see. ;)

See you in your dreams. ~


Tingle

Tingle

About Me: Hello! My name is Tingle! It is wonderful to meet you! ~

Although I may not look like it, I tell you, Tingle is the very reincarnation of a fairy! Yes, indeed! I was visited in a dream one cold and stormy night by the Queen of Fairies herself! It is true! She told Tingle of his past life as a fairy and bade him return to live with her in her magical land! Oh, Tingle was so excited to hear this! Before she left, she told Tingle to seek out his fairy guide– only then would he find the secret entrance to the fairy world!

Tingle has searched far and wide since that very night, but alas, he has yet to find his fairy. That is why Tingle has joined this wondrous site! Perhaps here he may find the fairy he so seeks! Oh, yes, Tingle hopes so!

Until that day comes, Tingle sells maps to help out his father. If ever you should need one, please, do not hesitate to ask Tingle! I shall sell you one for cheap as a sign of my friendship!

What I’m Looking For: Why, Tingle is looking for a fairy! Yes! Yes! Tingle has long awaited the day he meets his fairy guide. My father tells me to give up and act my age, but why? I know in my heart there is a special fairy out there for me, and I will wait until Fate brings us together!

Please, fairy! Come to Tingle soon! <3


Navi

Navi

About Me: Hey! My name’s Navi. I’m a fairy from the Kokiri Forest. It’s an okay place, but it can get pretty boring.

I LOVE traveling the world and going on adventures. Did you know I helped save Hyrule once? I totally did! One day the Great Deku Tree was all like, “Navi, my stomach hurts, tell that fairy-less boy to come here,” and I was like, “Gosh, do I have to?” and then he yelled at me so I flew to that strange boy’s hut as fast as my little wings could take me. I always knew that boy was different– Kokiri kids get a fairy as soon as they’re born, but this boy was already at least ten and he never had one. I felt kinda bad ‘cause the others liked to pick on him for that, but I knew with me by his side they wouldn’t be able to anymore. ANYWAY, I brought the kid to the Deku Tree and he tells us to go inside him. I was like, “What?” but the Deku Tree looked really serious about it so I didn’t say anything. We went inside, and it was the craziest thing– there were all these monsters and doors and traps in there. It was like a dungeon. And it smelled. It took us FOREVER to find our way through there. I thought we were done when we finally make it to the bottom, but then this HUGE spider-thing comes out of nowhere and attacks us! The poor kid was so scared, but I helped him through it. He TOTALLY would’ve been a goner if I wasn’t there. Anyway, after we killed it, the Deku Tree transported us back outside and told us what we just did. Get this: the Deku Tree had been cursed by someone who wanted his spiritual stone, and that spider-thing we just killed WAS the curse. He told us this was just the beginning of our adventure and we had to meet up with the princess and recover the other stones before that bad man could get them. I was like, “Shut up!” and then the Deku Tree totally just died. Can you believe that?

I couldn’t let the kid see a dead body for too long ‘cause that kinda thing can mess you up in the head, so we got out of there as quick as we could. I had no idea where to go ‘cause I never left the forest before, but it was clearly up to me to keep us safe. I remember the Deku Tree saying we needed to meet up with the princess, so the first place I said we sh

— Max character limit exceeded —

What I’m Looking For: I want a guy who listens when I have something to say. You can be a total hunk and it won’t mean a thing if you’re not a good listener. I mean, communication is, like, the foundation of a healthy relationship and stuff. I’m sorry, but if a guy’s not interested in the things I have to say, then it just won’t work out. Not only that, but it’s just plain disrespectful. I mean, seriously, what kind of guy would just ignore a lady when she wants to talk? Not a very good one, obviously. That’s how that strange Kokiri boy was. He NEVER listened to me when I had something to say, no matter how hard I tried to get his attention. It made me so mad sometimes. I mean, I only said things to help him out, and that’s the kind of thanks I get? I thought maybe it was ’cause he was young and didn’t know any better, but even when he got older he still didn’t listen to me. After a while I just couldn’t take it anymore. I mean, nothing makes you feel quite as insignificant as being ignored. As soon as we saved the world I got out of there and never looked back. Best decision I ever made. I NEVER want to be in that kinda situation again. So yeah, if you’re not a good listener, then don’t even waste my time.

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