Are Mario and Princess Peach ever going to get married? If you think about it, Mario has been chasing Peach now for 25 years. Since his first adventure on NES, Mario has constantly striven to save the princess from Bowser. You would think that a ruler grateful for being saved by Mario would marry him and induct him into the nobility as well.
Maybe there are reasons for keeping their relationship strictly professional. Maybe Peach knows that if she were to marry Mario that Bowser would give up kidnapping her and declare an all-out war on the Mushroom Kingdom. Maybe if she were to marry Mario, a commoner, she would lose the support of the Mushroom Nobility. Maybe she just likes all the attention she gets from being kidnapped and then saved every week of so.
Whatever the case, it seems a cruel fate for Mario who seems positively smitten with Peach if you judge by how many games he has gone through in order to save her. Oh sure, he might have had a fling with Pauline, Daisy, or even possibly Rosalina, but at the end of the day it’s Peach that Mario is protecting. Quit leading him on, Princess. It’s time to either settle down or cut him loose. No more of this “cake” business. Just like GLaDOS, the cake is a lie, and sooner or late he’s going to get wise.
Issue 36: Love in Video Games
If Gaming Be the Food of Love, Play On by Adam Sorice
“Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?” I’m just hanging around World 1-2!
Nintendo Dream Date Flowchart by M. Noah Ward
Who is your ideal Valentines Day date? Use our handy flowchart to find out.
Nintendo’s eHarmony Profiles by Kevin Knezevic
Giant turtle seeks beautiful princess to make him cake…
Nester64x: Unrequited Koopa Love by Nester64x
Only Nester can recognize the beauty behind Bowser’s obsession with Peach.
Nintendo Sterility by Andrew Hsieh
A not-that-well-researched analysis on Nintendo characters and their aversion to romantic bliss.
Hot Air: Dated by Aaron Roberts
A series of dates with Waluigi. It’s like The Fifth Wheel, only entertaining.
Brock’s Valentines by James Stank
Sending out Luvdiscs to all the lovely ladies he’s met.
Additional features in this issue…
- Nightly News Roundup by Matthew Tidman
- Nightly News Roundup by James Stank
- Poll: The Perfect Nintendo V-Day Gift by Evan Campbell
- Dojo-Show-Go! Episode 129 by M. Noah Ward
- Nightly News Roundup by Kevin Knezevic
- Nightly News Roundup by Andy Hoover
- Nightly News Roundup by M. Noah Ward
Coming Up Next Week…
Issue 37: Only on Wii
We love our Wii-exclusive games!