This piece is a fanboy satire. The views and opinions expressed herein do not state or reflect those of Nintendojo or any of its affiliates.
Okay, you lamewads. I’m here to say something that needs saying. Something that hasn’t been said. Something that, if it has been said, has not nearly been said often enough. Something that, if it hasn’t been said, needs saying. And now, I’m gonna say it:
Wii Music is lame.
There, it’s been said. If it hasn’t been said before. Wii Music is the single most lame Wii game there is. It’s the single most lame music game there is. Dare I say it — the single most lame game there is, ever? Aw, SNAP. I’ve totally laid it out for you. It’s time to face the facts.
Look, you can’t understand how important Wii Music is. It’s the creative art of Shigeru Miyamoto. It’s something that lets families come together. You can wave your Wii Remote in time to the music! In fact, if you don’t wave it in time to the music, it’s okay! The music will adapt itself to your time.
That why Wii Music is so lame. It’s not like you’re playing real music or conducting a real orchestra or anything. It’s just you waving your hands around and the Wii tries to keep up with you. It’s barely worth even talking about.
Because of how awesome it is. What other game lets you conduct the Legend of Zelda theme song? None, that’s how many. This isn’t a game that’s concerned with facts that you think in your head, it’s about music that you FEEL in your HEART. And that’s what makes Wii Music the best Wii game there is.
I’m not kidding, here. This piece of software is better defined as a piece of trash. That’s where it belongs. You are disgracing your Wii by placing it therein. I am disgusted when I even think of how I actually played this game.
Since I loved it so much. It was fun watching my Mii wave his hands up and down in time with me, even if my rhythm is more off than the Grateful Dead when they played “Hey, Jude.” That’s the best part — that it’s all about fun.
Except it’s not fun at all. It’s just a bunch of stupid gestures and in time to a bunch of lame songs.
And I love it.
I am so confused.