GENRE
	Action
	DEVELOPER
	Tamsoft
	PUBLISHER
	D3
	NUMBER OF PLAYERS
	1-2
	WI-FI ENHANCED
	No
	DS COMPATIBLE
	No
	BUY NOW AT

Throughout mankind’s long and glorious history, those tasked with entertaining their fellow man have always known how to draw a crowd. Regardless of race, creed, or culture, sex and violence have always sold like smutty, blood-soaked hot cakes. In doubt? Go ahead and try to find a culture that never reveled in some sort of blood-sport or promiscuous pastime.

For better or for worse, this morally questionable tradition is continued in the realm of interactive entertainment thanks to games like Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers for the Wii. The title really says it all; you play as bikini clad women who kill zombies. Conceptually speaking, this is one of the most brilliant pieces of exploitative entertainment in the history of the universe. Unfortunately for Onechanbara, video games (unlike grindhouse cinema, gladiatorial combat, and lap dances) require a great deal of viewer interaction, and that is where things get tricky.

visuals

Onechanbara is not a great looking game but it is not a terrible let down either. Environments and enemies are generally quite ugly, and not just because they are zombies. Overall polygon counts are fairly low and the texture work is mediocre at best. On the other hand, the playable character models are quite detailed, with plenty of fine details and some of the same "body physics" you're used to seeing in the likes of Dead or Alive.

Unfortunately, the rest of the visual presentation is also a mixed bag. Cut scenes are stiffly animated, level intros are text over uninteresting backgrounds, and the game’s menus are competent yet uninspired. One saving grace is the amount of blood that splatters on the screen as you hack apart enemies; this might not seem like much, but it has a nice translucent ooziness to it that makes the violence quite satisfying.

audio

Not too much to talk about here; the music is a generic mix of techno and speed metal guitar riffs and the voice acting is only available in Japanese. Then again, maybe we should be grateful D3 didn’t try to add English voices because even the best actresses wouldn’t be able to save the absolutely terrible dialogue.

gameplay

Bikini Zombie Slayers is apparently a direct sequel to the recently released Xbox 360 Onechanbara title, but the game never bothers to tell you this. Instead of giving you anything resembling an introduction, the game simply throws a poorly written and terribly confusing monologue at you and then tells you to start killing zombies. While this will doubtlessly be rather jolting for many gamers, one need only remember the title and all expectations of Shakespearean exposition will quickly vanish.

The overall structure of Onechanbara is very simple –- move forward while killing stuff. Not once does the game stray from this linear formula, with the occasional boss fight being the only thing coming close to variety. All of those bosses feel almost identical, though, and are dreadfully easy. All things considered, the most compelling part of the game is leveling up your characters by killing enemies and collecting the yellow orbs they drop. The leveling and stat system is quite basic; every time you reach a preset amount of experience, you get points you can assign to increase your health, strength, range, and maximum number of attacks in a combo.

At the heart of any great action game is the battle controls, and once again, Bikini Zombie Slayers delivers a mediocre performance. Slashing your sword is assigned to waggling the remote, and while this works fine for mindlessly slashing your way through equally mindless zombies, some combo moves require very specific moves that maybe register only twenty percent of the time. For example, one kind of enemy can only be defeated by a particular combo that requires three waggles followed by a push forward, so defeating it requires repeatedly going through the motions until it actually registers. What's more, the amount of waggle needed for Bikini Zombie Slayers is merciless on the wrist. It's hard to play the game for more than two hours before the pain gets bad enough to force a break.

Should you be willing to suffer the mediocre, pain-inducing gameplay, Bikini Zombie Slayers does actually have a fair bit of longevity. First of all, there are two unlockable characters on top of the two open from the start, each with a campaign that lasts eight missions. Also, while each character plays similarly at first, a press of the C button switches to a secondary fighting style unique to each character. Second, if 32 total missions do not seem like enough, a couple of extra difficulty levels can also be unlocked for those with no respect for their wrist’s well being. Finally, for completionist junkies, each level has a variety of achievement like challenges that go toward unlocking extra costumes that reveal even more skin.

Oh, and then there is the best part -- Bikini Zombie Slayers only retails for /.

multiplayer

These sorts of mindless action games are always best when shared and Onechanbara does not disappoint. The entire game is playable in split-screen co-op and the overall amusement factor increases substantially when you can share the B-movie like corniness with a friend.

overall

Judged on a point-by-point basis, Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers is not a good game; the presentation is awfully generic, the story and dialogue don’t make sense, and the gameplay is ultimately hampered by painful motion controls. However, the relative wealth of content, budget pricing, and perverse sense of style will undoubtedly appeal to a certain audience looking for some guilty pleasures. So, for most people out there, you can safely pass up Bikini Zombie Slayers, but for that particular group (and you know who you are) you can rest assured that this review was written with a wink and a nod.

6.5/10