GENRE
	Action
	DEVELOPER
	Frame Studios
	PUBLISHER
	Destination Software Inc.
	NUMBER OF PLAYERS
	1
	CONNECTIVITY
	No
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Calling Princess Natasha, come quick! Robotic aliens have crash-landed in rural Illinois and turned all the townsfolk into blubbering zombies! We don't know what to do! We need your help!...Or, maybe not. Actually, scratch that. Maybe you should crawl back under the covers little girl, and keep your Campbellian princess dreams for something that won’t burn away your innocence.

visuals

Are on par with its SNES-era brethren; but the enemies never change. You fight bubbles -- lots of them. Natasha sports a Hollywood black jumpsuit; and when she sticks out her foot -- the game's basic attack -- for something that looks like a kick, you will cringe at how this lithe princess seems a pregnant bottom heavy. The licensed aesthetic breathes its inspiration from Cartoon Network and Kim Possible. The boldly outlined comic characters all feature twin locks that hang down in front of their eyes in perfect hair flicking territory. Between the small, bare stages that are no more than a handful of screens wide, you’ll find a well-animated tree, maybe a ladder and some piping to mix things up. The spare story is told with minimal use of stills and text, usually involving the same shot of Natasha taking a call from her geeked out pal Oleg on her Booferberry cell.

audio

In a world that neglects the ears for the curve of the eye, Natasha will surprise you with her sexy musicianship. She can flip the wax, beat the funk and keep it real. The tracks are few, but quality. iPods won’t be needed.

gameplay

Natasha sucks. Its production values mark it as middle of the pack, but playing the game is a slough through abysmal depths. The game begins with you selecting a destination and two gadgets of your choice. You then set upon those fiendish bubbles with all the wrath of an 11-year old nymphet. Sounds simple, right? Ahh, but here’s the rub: it takes a dozen hits to kill even the smallest hollowed surfectant; and to attack, you’re stuck with either one of those two gadgets or your trusty old kick. Neither hits well. The hit detection is reminiscent of Super Smash Bros., where things just happen, and everybody just shrugs their shoulders. Most bubbles will just bounce right through your attack as if nothing's there. The gadgets are a bit more useful, but of course they have limited ammo. The kick is all around laggy.

But it gets better -- no really. For all your efforts the game tells you: go kick this little bubble over here at least two dozen times, because half of these just won’t connect; and when you're finished, go kick this other little bubble over there. Sounds difficult right? You can expect the next three hours to pass unchanged. When you happen upon the occasional zombie freak, you give him a good once over with your trusty Undead-B-Gone, and Wham! He comes to his senses and promptly exits screen right.

Now just in case your four-year-old gets confused by all this, you may want to remind her that she can jump. Don’t worry about landing on platforms or an aerial attack: Natasha doesn’t possess such lowly plumber skills. But you may want to help with Natasha’s odd, archaic hybrid of password and game save. Being on the run, your little tot may well not understand the finer points of cryptography in today’s gigabyte world of save everything. If she's still awake, you may also want to inform her of the unlockable gadgets and artwork.

multiplayer

N/A

overall

The web is full of free flash games better than Natasha. The only reason to ever own this game is if your best friend's dad ever gets the idea that yeah, he could make a game for his daughter too; then you can gladly disabuse him of his madness by showing him this little piece of insanity.

1.3/10