QUOTE
	"The unenlightened might call it “junk,” but we all know better."

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I’ve been thinking about a few things lately, and I’m more than a little fed up. What kind of things, you might ask?

Well, things like Mario- and Luigi- themed GameCube controllers, collectible DS Lite cases, and... I don’t know... maybe, a free game which isn’t available in stores. Some of you have no idea what I’m talking about here, so you should know that...

Nintendo of Japan Gives Out Tons of Free Stuff

Japan’s Club Nintendo rewards Nintendo players by giving out free Nintendo-themed memorabilia (the unenlightened might call it “junk,” but we all know better) in exchange for registering hardware and software online. Why, you might ask? That’s easy. To track purchases.

All product registry is an effort by corporations to see what consumers are buying and when they’re buying it. In addition, it also allows them to gain access to your personal information, and subsequently track demographics. Haven’t you ever wondered why your computer won’t stop freaking bugging you about registering it no matter how many times you click “No,” or why every single DS, GBA and GCN game includes an online registration code inside which is, in fact, placed in a more prominent position than the instruction manual itself?

Who Cares If You Know How To Play The Game?

It’s all about the green, baby. Or, you know, whatever color Japanese money is. So, now that we’ve established that Nintendo, like most other companies who like to make big bank, wants you to register products in order to keep a Big Brotherly eye on you, does it sound attractive?

If you’re American, probably not, unless you’re a die-hard loyalist. Which, if you’re reading this column, you probably are. Nintendo of America rewards you for registering products online by giving you access to game wallpapers or character art.

...

... Yes. Quite exciting.

In contrast, Japan’s Club Nintendo gives you “Nintendo Points” in exchange for each registry. These points can be exchanged for things like the aforementioned Mario Bros. controllers, extra accessories, systems (although you really have to save up for those), collectible statues like Kanden from Metroid Prime Hunters, and the DS Game And Watch Collection, which was not sold in Japan or any other region. If it weren’t for the magic of the Internets, us ham-handed, attention-spanless Westerners would never have known such a thing existed. I look back on those days with fond regret.

So, which sounds like a better incentive: free games, accessories, and systems, or... JPEG files that really should have been freely available in the first place?

Junichiro Koizumi Is My President

Plus, he sings a good “Love Me Tender.” Yes, there’s no doubt that we get the short end of the stick when it comes to free Nintendo schwag. But it’s a small price to pay to live in the land of the free, right? Ehhhh... maybe. Even the Europeans have it better. The VIP Nintendo club over there isn’t nearly as extensive as Japan’s, but they can still get free Mario ring tones and wallpapers for their cell phones. I might be able to live with that. Or at least think about being okay with it.

Bottom line: is offering more free stuff to Americans going to make Nintendo more successful in the market? Not necessarily, but it can’t hurt. And dang it, we deserve it. Mario is nearly the cultural icon here that he is in Japan. Maybe NOA can unload some of those signed photos of Captain Lou Albano that are just sitting there in the basement.

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